Journey Challenge - ACKNOWLEDGE & RESPECT YOUR LIMITS
ACKNOWLEDGE & RESPECT YOUR LIMITS
There is only so much you can do in a given day. There is only so much that you can adjust to in one sitting. There is only so much new reality you can face as it hits you. Keep in mind that you can only process so much new information about what is changing. Be willing to admit this to yourself, and know that you are only human. Be patient with your adjustment – it takes time, it takes repetitions.
Perhaps you are trying to do too much about a future that cannot be foreseen or predicted.
You can just be wiling to do the best you can right now, with what you know.
HERE’S THE CHALLENGE
Many of us get worn down by ongoing adversity and stress, particularly by our inability to control our outcomes for the future. For those of us prone to excessive worry about our well-being and security, who also have the willful tendency to want to exert control over things that are not within our control, we are vulnerable to ignoring or denying our natural limits as human beings.
We tend to view our limitations as deficits in our character, or weakness in our constitution. We then become quite defensive about having limits, and we strive become super-human in order to overcompensate for this. We carry strong tendencies for self-judgment and self-rejection whenever we have highly unrealistic expectations for ourselves, and this will prevent us from understanding that each human being has inevitable limitations – from a spiritual perspective, this is how we acknowledge that we are not God.
Conversely, when we are able to acknowlege, feel and accept the limits of what we can handle and process as human beings, and can experience these limits as supports for us, and not indictments against us, we can thrive within these natural limitations.
Establishing healthy and life-supporting boundaries allows us to better focus on what is possible and do-able within the boundaries of our limits, and paradoxically, we can end up transcending these limitations – but only once we have accepted them as real, valid and supportive.
HERE ARE YOUR TOOLS
1. Understand that knowing your limits is inevitable and essential to your self development.
Use your body awareness as a barometer for reaching your limit. Practice paying attention to your increasing bodily tensions and constricted breathing that begin to happen whenever your mind is wanting to push you past a reasonable and supportive limitation or boundary that you have.
Learn to pay attention to yourself in this way, and listen deeply to what your body communicates to you, that your mind will want to ignore. Trust that your body will always inform you when you have reached a limit, or hit against a personal boundary that you have set.
2. Honor and respect your limits and boundaries.
Self worth and self esteem come from setting and honoring your own personal limits – learn to bear the dynamic tension of pushing back boundary crossings and failures. Practice saying a ‘no’ that means ‘no’. Feel the positive self regard that comes from standing your ground, despite the discomfort this may create for yourself or another. Your well-being depends on it.
Having A Body That Belongs To The World
A poem by David Whyte
Start close in, don’t take the second step or the third, start with the first
thing close in, the step you don’t want to take.
Start with the ground you know, the pale ground
beneath your feet, your own way of starting the conversation.
Start with your own question, give up on other people’s questions,
don’t let them smother something simple.
To find another’s voice, follow your own voice, wait until that voice
becomes a private ear listening to another.
Start right now take a small step you can call your own
don’t follow someone else’s heroics, be humble
and focused, start close in, don’t mistake that other for your own..
Start close in,
don’t take the second step or the third,
start with the first thing close in,
the step you don’t want to take
A Lecture by Michael Mervosh
Working with Contact, Boundaries & Limits Along The Journey
When we are well-contained in body and mind, and connected to our own resources, within and underneath us, we have the support to develop and grow as human beings.
Without ‘grounding and bounding’, we lose our ability to contain ourselves. We cannot hold proper inner boundaries, build up inner power, and grow into maturity.
Practice Practical Limit Setting
Keep in mind opportunities to establish safety and containment through limit setting – either with yourself or another.
Learn to speak up on behalf of yourself, and practice the simple (but difficult) practice of saying no.
Feel the space it makes inside for you.
Feel the space in makes for you in your life.